The Desire to Get Better
By Emma Suttie, D.Ac, AP
There is something about medicine that I don't think gets talked about enough, and in my opinion, it is one of the most important aspects of the healing process. It is not the quality of the medicines or herbs, the severity of the disease or even the credentials of the doctor. It is simply, the desire to get better.
To some, this may seem strange. If people are seeking out treatment and showing up in your office, does this not imply a desire to get well? You would think so, but, in my experience, it is not always the case. Many times patients arrive and in the course of the initial interview it becomes obvious that they have become identified with their disease. For whatever reason, it has become such an integral part of their person, their physical body, their personality, that their entire identity is wrapped up in it. In some cases, the thought of curing their disease would be like the loss of an old friend, or worse, losing a limb.
This scenario generally plays out after someone has been suffering with some sort of physical or mental ailment for a long time. As an acupuncturist, you sometimes get patients who come to you after they have tried everything else. You are the last resort. For many of these people, acupuncture has never been on their radar, but after trying everything else they could think of, they have decided to try it out because they no longer have anything left to lose. This generally means that the disease is chronic, could have been complicated by various other types of treatments, the body can be exhausted and various organ systems affected, and the patient has lost hope. All these things make treatment more difficult and your job more complex.
In these cases I always try to address the emotional and psychological aspects of the disease. What was happening in your life when you got sick? How were you feeling? Were there any traumas in your life that preceded your diagnosis? These are all important questions, and help to make diagnosis and treatment more effective. These are also probably questions the patient has never been asked before in the context of their illness. This is why the Chinese medicine model is so effective and why I love it so much. The word cancer doesn't mean anything to me. I want to know WHY you have the cancer. What in your life caused the cancer. And why it is choosing to manifest where it has. What in your life led up to you getting the cancer, and so forth.
But ultimately, it is the desire to get better that trumps almost everything else. Many times I have had patients come into my office and ask me if there are points I can do to make the lose weight. My response to this is always no. I say to them that there are many points that I can do to support you in your weight loss, but we will have to work as a team with you eating a balanced diet and exercising. I sometimes get a look of deep disappointment, like they were hoping that I could do it for them. Of course I can't. If you don't want to lose the weight and are not willing to do the work, then you won't lose weight. This is simply logic. Others have come asking for acupuncture so they can quit smoking. I say "there are protocols that help with things like cravings and if you are ready to quit, then acupuncture and your acupuncturist can support you in the process". If they were hoping for a magical point that would do it for them I know it is the last time I will see them. At least for a while, until they are ready.
One of the other things I often see in clinic is that if the treatment prescribed is not the one the patients wants or is willing to deal with, then the necessary healing will not take place. It is one of the most frustrating and slightly heartbreaking parts of my job that I feel that I can, after a few minutes, tell what a person really needs to get over whatever illness has pushed itself uninvited into their lives, and know that not everyone is willing to do what it takes to deal with it and get better. Sometimes people just need to talk. They are frustrated and in pain, and I definitely see that a lot. Sometimes, people want some validation, that what they are experiencing is awful and painful and humiliating. I see that too. But one of the things that I see a lot more is that many people are living in a culture of sickness, and they simply do not know how to be well. I think that until we live in a culture that really cultivates health, the people that live in it will struggle to find their way there.
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